I am sniffing my nose away and coughing as I am typing this post. And wait, I feel a lil heat on my forehead and slight warmth in my body. I also think that the weather is very cooling even just having an opened gap at the window and a blankie wrapped around me. But I have with me the aid of the fan to ventilate the air, don’t want to be suffocated. Yes, I am down with a bad bout of flu and fever. And I’ve finally went to the doctor after 2 years plus of not going to one. I used to go in Poly days when I had to fake MC. Haha… Other than that I never go to the doctors unless very necessary. So I took off from work today, and it’s also the first time I’ve ever gotten MC for work. I really can’t recall myself calling in sick for any jobs that I held.

I prolly need a good break or a rest.

My throat is killing me, I thought I’d recover, was having sore throat since New Years and it got better last week, no changes in my voice and all of a sudden I fell ill on Monday night. How strange. Maybe I should really take medication sometimes and take better care of myself. I just wanna get well soon, luckily this is happening before Chinese New Year haha.

It also feels like the medicine doesn’t have any effect on me except by making me drowsy. My throat is still as bloody painful and my nose is more runny. Haha and my fever is still there, what is this? Haha. Oh wells, I was told to be patient, I shall just give it a lil more time.

Okay, give me a break too. I can’t believe I was asked this question “You are not going to work today?” I know, I still go to work when I am sick, or drunk, or went a night without sleep. But, I’ve went to the doctor to take an MC of course I won’t be going to work!… This is how bad it is! I feel that my parents no longer understand me, not that they’ve ever understood me fully. But I just feel that I am growing more and more distant from them. Well, perhaps its the lesser amount of time that we communicate, and I am always absorbed in my own matters too. But I just feel they no longer care as much about me.

Is it cause I just put up a strong front so they think that everything is fine in my life? Maybe so. Like how I am asked to do things though I am ill. Like asked to buy dog food after seeing a doctor and having to carry it home alone, and buying food for myself. Not that the stuff are heavy, it’s definitely not, but there were still some dog food left I could always buy it another day. Or waking me up cause I dozed off and forgot to walk the dog and just other stuff. I no longer get special treatment when I am ill now, it’s just like any other normal days. I guess it’s my fault for not telling them much too, but even when I tried it doesn’t work. I can’t really be bothered anymore. Now I feel like a bitch for complaining. But seriously, maybe I’ll need to faint infront of them or show strong signs of being ill, only then they’ll prolly feel the pain for me.

I am not always strong, I get tired too. Sometimes I badly need someone to hug me tight and to tell me everything is fine. I need that strong shoulders for me to lean on and maybe cry on. I need someone to listen to me properly and just let me rant.

It’s cliche, but I am really tired. Maybe I need a break. A good short break.

I’ve finally tendered my resignation at SH by the way. I can’t wait for my last day which is 29th January. That really calls for a celebration. It’s really kind of taxing working there.

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