It’s prolly insecurtiries. I’m not sure what I’m thinking. I keep having these thoughts of breaking up. I don’t know why I’m getting pessimistic and negative for no reason. I can be rather immature. I’m not as brave or strong as I think I am. What’s going on Yi Li.
It is utter happiness to be together.
I am alive.
I can heal myself.
I can see the stars.
I learn to cherish our time together.
I am like a princess.
I remember to love.
My heart goes warm and cold.
My tears are falling.
I fight to be strong.
I struggle to leave and yearn to stay forever.
It is bittersweet.
It hurts in this uncertainty.
It will hurt.
I will learn to be brave.
Uhh I miss the crazy me. Was just watching Afrojack in Tomorrowland this year. Haaa brought back some memories. I miss those party days.
Why do I feel like I’ll never be able to get out of this abyss. Like I’m stopping myself from moving on. I don’t even know why I feel alone when I’m so blessed to have wonderful close friends and a sweet loving Boy. Maybe I don’t know how to cherish life, I don’t know how to appreciate the lil things in life. Maybe I’m just finding excuses and just burying my insecurities, which feeds on my self pity.
I wrote this a few weeks ago after I came home and was a ‘tipsy’. Wow… I like it. I’m able to express my feelings in writing after drinking.
I just had this convo with Funn on WhatsApp just now. If started off with me waking up when it’s time and not always giving in to my desires. Then about life and that he told me he’s truly happy at where he is now cause he has got everything that he wants. I know I have much to learn from him and yes I’m fortunate to have a great guy like him. But life is all about being simple ain’t it? Step by step, don’t stray. We will somehow work through everything.
So Belle just told me an hour ago that she said yes to Chew’s proposal in Milan! She’s engaged now! Wow, surreal huh, although it was quite expected. Nevertheless, I’m extremely happy for them!
My Love bought me a piano keyboard too. It happened cause we went Makansutra to have supper after work and there were these pianos outside Esplanade, where you can play. It’s this piano project thing. So I said I’ve always wanted to learn piano last time. Yade yade and then we thought of getting myself a keyboard and tada~ he actually got one for me! Wooh and I learned something new about him too, he can play the piano cause he had one last time and kinda learned it himself. Haha he’s a silly boy who does these lil things to spoil me. How to leave a boy like that. Who loves me with his all heart and I do too but just so torn about us cause of our ‘differences’.
Oh well, at the end of the day, everything is about love and respect and all else good.
I love my life and my family and friends.
My Bestie, Belle is prolly gonn get hitched soon. I hope I’ll be there during the proposal!
It’s scary how everything is happening around me and I just seem to be stagnant and not let progressing. I don’t know what’s up with me man.
Yah I always sound so lost huh.
At least I’m glad I have a few close mates and my Boy whom I can count on.
Well. I really need to learn how to love myself. Maybe I really don’t know how to love.